Fluctuating Time

I think that I'm a time traveller...

Stick with me here, I'm not a nutter (yes I am), no, I'm not.

I'm starting to realise that sometimes I go slower or faster in time than other people, more to the point, my girlfriend.

I have no control over this power but I am aware it is happening, the following tales are my proof..

Case A: I went shopping with my girlfriend, she dragged me in an over priced, uneccesarily warm and busy shop. It was like hell with more clothes (and less friendly staff). 2 hours passed, I needed water and nourishment. When we finally left I asked my girlfriend why we just spent 2 hours in that terrible place... she informed me that we were only in there for 10 minutes.

Case A theory: The only explanation is that I was in a nightmarish time loop, lost in a vortex of rails and mirrors, tortured by nightmarish visions of young pimpled harletts covered in thick makeup.

Case B: I went to the toilet, played on a few games of 'Draw Something' and checked my emails ... I was in there for 10 minutes tops (Including the wipe, and hand wash!), but when I went downstairs to speak to my girlfriend ... she asked why I had been on the toilet for an hour.

Case B theory: I had obviously time shifted into the future due to a hole in the space time continuum. There is no other explanation. I have heard many stories of a similar nature to this... I am naming it the "Angry Bird Theory".

Conclusion...

I'm a time traveler. Great Scott!

Posted by: Smolemon at 22:00:21 28th Mar 2012

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